(none of this was written using AI)
Thinking
Why did I
Why did you get into photography? How did you get into photography?
I guess, I got into photography before I was even aware of it myself. Not in the 'traditional' sense, I guess. It didn't start with having a camera and playing around with it. How do I explain it? One of my earliest memories is laying belly-first on a rotating office chair and watching the chair's feet as I was spinning. I liked the sensation and seeing how everything blurred together for a bit. I would focus intensely and feel like I could almost see the motion freeze for seconds at a time. Such a dumb and silly little thing was fascinating at that time. And that's, to me, one of the first instances indicative of how I viewed things, the world around me. What I mean is, it started slowly. I think I was quite observant as a kid, idk, I guess at times I was. I just like to see colours, seeing the light of day, catching the milliseconds of something happen, something that is meaningful in a quiet, almost insignificant way. I like to see the little things, the subtle changes in tone, in positioning, the subtle, almost invisible ways people and horses communicate. The little things that are either difficult to catch, subtle, almost invisible, silent, but quietly powerful. The little things that communicate without words, without needing to elaborate on them. The little things that are easy to miss, or that we catch in half a second and then move on. But in those little instances is where a lot is revealed, it is where emotion sits, between fully acknowledged and fully seen, but those little things are the very things that lets us into a raw place. Might those be windows to our real emotions, to our core..?
Do I make sense? I like a look that speaks volumes, a relaxed and genuine smile that is perceived through the drop of the shoulders, a soft touch over something that matters, I live for those little in-betweens: almost invisible, quiet, yet so loud, so crystal clear, so magnetic.
Ephemeral, temporary, wee, minute moments
Why the minute, the insignificant? What do you see that we don't?
You see it too. I guess it is my way to communicate: "I want to show you what I see" and I'll do it through my lens, because I guess, over the years, I've found it is complicated and convoluted to transmit the meaning of the things I want to say. So sometimes I find it is far easier to show you; to let an image convey what I see, how it felt, why I took it. Sometimes I've wondered if I'm someone of lesser words, if I intentionally remain quiet out of choice or because of who I am - is there a difference between the two? I'm thinking out loud.
So many moments in my life are remembered through tiny instances, flickers of a smile, a second, a tone change, a look, or lack thereof. Some of those things were remembered, retained, sealed intensely. Some moments shaped me, some things scarred me, some other things had their place for their timed duration. Essentially that is, I guess, what I recall about my life. Not the moments themselves, not at face value, but what happened underneath. Someone's voice who lit up something, a look that needed no translation, a nod that meant the world, a look that broke me, a glimpse of a face that hurt me.
Dolor
What broke you?
Is pain the driver of the creative?
Maybe.
can you hold this
Who are you writing this for?
for myself...
?
I think.
accepting uncertainty
Where do you see yourself heading with this?
Honestly, I don't know. But does it need to be defined? Does it have to be set in stone right now?
No, absolutely not.
I guess I just want to trust that I will keep creating by following what drives me. And right now, 'what drives me' is, I guess not fully defined. But it doesn't have to be either. The equestrian sport, dressage, people, gente I know.. and I guess, for the time being, that is what I will focus on. Because that is where my 'drive', my 'heart', is going, for now.